Bare Minimums to Expect in Relationships

In any relationship, whether romantic, platonic, or professional, there are fundamental expectations that form the bedrock of healthy interactions. At a minimum, mutual respect, open communication, and trust are essential components. Respect involves valuing each other’s boundaries and individuality, while communication ensures that both parties feel heard and understood. Trust creates a safe environment where vulnerability can thrive. Establishing these bare minimums not only fosters a positive dynamic but also sets the stage for deeper connection and growth over time. Here’s a guide on the bare minimum to expect in relationships:

1. Safety

"They do not physically harm, mock, humiliate, or degrade me."

Safety is essential in every relationship. Each partner should honor the other’s values, boundaries, and individuality of the other.  Discussing and honoring these boundaries helps prevent misunderstandings and feelings of violation. Partners should prioritize each other's physical well-being. This includes being free from violence, coercion, or manipulation. If concerns arise about physical safety, seeking help from professionals or support networks is important.

2. Respect

"They are respectful of my interests and don't criticize my appearance."

Mutual respect is foundational, serving as the foundation for trust, communication, and emotional intimacy. Each partner should honor the other’s values, boundaries, and individuality. Recognizing and valuing each other's individuality, opinions, and boundaries establishes respect. Being open and honest is vital makes room for respectful communication. Respecting differences—whether they are cultural, emotional, or ideological—enriches the relationship. It encourages growth and understanding rather than conflict. Ultimately, respect in relationships is about valuing each other as individuals while working together as a team.

3. Communication and Validation

Open, honest communication is crucial. Both partners should feel safe expressing their thoughts and feelings. You should feel comfortable expressing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or retaliation. Body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice play crucial roles in communication. Being aware of these can enhance understanding and convey genuine emotions. Effective communication involves more than just exchanging words; it’s about understanding and being understood. 

Validation can help partners feel understood and valued. Acknowledging your partner's feelings without judgment shows that you care. Phrases like “I can see why you feel that way” can go a long way in making them feel understood. When communication is open and validation is present, partners can navigate challenges more effectively. Validating each other's feelings encourages more honest conversations, while strong communication skills help ensure that validation is conveyed sincerely. Prioritizing both communication and validation can create a nurturing environment where both partners feel valued and understood, paving the way for a deeper, more resilient connection.

4. Trust and Consistency

Trust is essential for any relationship to thrive. Partners should be reliable and trustworthy, fostering a sense of security. They should operate within the bounds of relational agreements be honest with you. Being dependable fosters security. When partners can count on each other, follow-through on promises and commitments, it enhances the feeling of safety and reinforces trust.

5. Support and Acknowledgement 

Emotional support is important. Partners should encourage each other’s goals and be there during difficult times. Being there for someone emotionally and physically is incredibly important to be a partnership. Celebrating achievements and showing appreciation contributes to a positive and loving environment.

6. Compromise

Compromise and flexibility are a cornerstone of healthy relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships. Both partners should be willing to negotiate and find middle ground when disagreements arise. Take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts before responding. Maintain respect for your partner, even when emotions run high.Be open to finding solutions that satisfy both partners, even if it means giving up something you initially wanted. 

Recognizing that neither party will get everything they want all the time. Flexibility allows individuals to adapt to each other's needs and find solutions that satisfy both sides. When partners see that they can rely on each other to meet halfway, it builds a sense of safety and security in the relationship. Relationships evolve, and so do the needs of those involved. Compromise allows couples and friends to navigate these changes together. 

7. Affection and Playfulness

Physical and emotional affection (like hugs, compliments, or quality time) is vital for connection and intimacy. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling can create a sense of closeness and security. Regularly expressing admiration and appreciation fosters a positive atmosphere and reinforces self-esteem. Small, loving remarks or inside jokes can deepen intimacy and create a shared sense of humor. 

8. Exclusivity and Time Together

Spending quality time together helps build a strong bond. Make an effort to prioritize shared activities. Engaging in activities together, whether it's a date night or simply watching a movie at home, builds shared memories and solidifies your bond. Putting away distractions and giving each other undivided attention can significantly enhance feelings of closeness.

9. Independence and Individual Growth

While togetherness is important, maintaining individual interests and friendships is crucial for a healthy dynamic. A healthy relationship allows for individuality. Partners should encourage each other's interests, friendships, and personal growth outside the relationship. Go out with friends, chase endeavors, and pursue separate hobbies that excite you! Mutual support for independence strengthens the bond between you and your partner.

10. Boundaries

Having healthy boundaries means taking ownership of your own emotions, behaviors, and choices 

• “Casual dating isn’t for me so we’re incompatible and I’m going to end it.”
• “This is how I need to be loved to feel safe – take it or leave.”).
• “I like this/I don’t like that.”
• “I can’t see you until you get help for ...”
• “I like to spend half an hour alone when I get home from work so I can unwind.”
• "I'm not comfortable with the fact that you cheated on me with my sister, so I'm going to walk away now.

They define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, helping both individuals feel respected and safe. Each partner should have personal boundaries that are respected. Discuss and establish these boundaries together. This includes emotionally, sexually, and physically and they do not coerce or manipulate you in anyway. 

It's important to express when something bothers you or makes you uncomfortable. Each person should feel comfortable with how close they get to one another. In the age of technology, it’s important to discuss privacy regarding social media, texting, and sharing personal information. It’s vital to balance quality time with individual pursuits.

11. Healthy Conflict Resolution

Disagreements or conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but how it’s managed can make all the difference... Partners should approach conflicts with a willingness to listen and resolve issues constructively. Keep the discussion centered on the specific issue at hand rather than attacking your partner's character. This helps prevent the conversation from escalating into personal insults.

If you recognize that you were wrong or hurtful, a sincere apology can go a long way in healing wounds. Taking responsibility shows maturity and commitment to the relationship. If emotions are running high, pause the conversation and schedule a different time for a discussion. Work collaboratively to find a resolution. Brainstorm potential solutions and agree on a plan of action that both partners feel comfortable with.

12. Physical Intimacy and Closeness

After discussing what you want to happen in a relationship, and both people may consent to become intimate, that part of the partnership should be satisfying. You both have to enjoy having sex. Otherwise, expect the relationship to go downhill from here. It’s important to talk about the frequency of intimate activities throughout the week. People’s libidos are different, and you may have to compromise with your partner about how often you two engage sexually. While these bare minimum expectations may vary based on individual values and relationship dynamics, establishing them can help create a solid foundation for intimacy. A healthy relationship is built on mutual understanding and effort, ensuring that both partners feel valued and connected.

These elements create a strong foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Adjust your expectations based on your unique relationship dynamics, but these principles are a good starting point! These are essential expectations for healthy relationships. Safety, respect, and accountability should never be negotiable. Setting the standard for what we deserve is crucial for our emotional well-being.

What are some bare minimums that you've set for yourself in relationships?